Gordon Graham: The Real Deal!

 THE REAL DEAL!

by Gordon Graham

 

Today I had lunch with Lou Tice, Chairman and Founder of The Pacific Institute.  It’s always enjoyable to spend time with Louis.  His seminar was the catalyst for turning my life around 38 years go.  We don’t get together as often these days but I always come away with new ideas and am motivated to speed up the process of improving the world I live in.

I was reminded of one of the first questions that went through my mind when I initially went through the Achieving Your Potential seminar all those years ago.  “Why didn’t I have access to this information when I was sixteen?”  Maybe I wouldn’t have listened, but maybe I would have.  Imagine the savings to society, myself, and my family if these concepts had been available to me then.

By the time I was introduced to T.P.I.’s process I had spent 17 years in and out of maximum security prisons, committed a number of crimes, been involved in riots, spent 365 consecutive days on bread and water, been shot, and was recognized as the leader in the prison culture.  I have no idea what all of that cost the taxpayer.  I do know that there’s a good chance that none of these things would have happened if I had been aware of the process that is offered by The Pacific Institute.

Now here’s the good news!  T.P.I. has developed a process for youth called PX2.  I had a chance to preview the content and delivery of this program a couple of days ago.  It’s the real deal!  It reaches young people where they are and with a delivery system that relates to their world. There’s no way to measure the impact that this type of education can have on our youth.  But if it keeps one youngster from taking a wrong turn in life, or gives them tools to live a more fulfilled life, you can’t put a dollar figure on it.

PX2 could be the key to helping change the culture in our inner cities.  It may also keep some youngsters from making the kind of decisions that kept me trapped in a destructive lifestyle for a good part of my early years. Hindsight is always 20/20.  There’s no guarantee that something like PX2 would have changed the course of my life.  However, I would have liked the opportunity to make that choice. Every young person should have that opportunity.  They just might discover how great they really are!

An old Chinese proverb goes, “If you cut an apple in half anyone can count the number of seeds in an apple, but no one can count the apples in a seed.”  When the time is right, the mind is open and the seeds get a little nourishment, great things can happen!  PX2 is full of seeds.  We just need more planters and a little more nourishment to start the growth process.  (See what a lunch with Louis can do?!)

Peace,  

Gordy Graham

www.ggco.com

Gordon Graham: Michael Phelps--Decisions have Consequences

DECISIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES:  A High Profile Example

We’ve all been young at some point, and there’s a good chance that we’ve made a mistake or two in the process of becoming mature adults.  

Some of the mistakes were so serious that we had to learn our lessons the hard way.  

The media frenzy surrounding Michael Phelps' lapse of judgment is out of proportion to the event itself.  Obviously he made a bad decision, but the amount of attention it’s been getting far surpasses that given to Wall Street executives who have ruined many people’s lives by their dishonest acts.  

The daily drive-by shootings and gang violence is generally back page news. 

How fair is it to destroy a young man’s career as a result of one instance of smoking pot?  

His career has been damaged, and the negative publicity has cost him endorsements and great embarrassment. 

It would be much more valuable if we would focus on the gang activity and violence in our communities. 

We all should look in the mirror before passing judgment on a young man who has raised the bar for athletes in this country, and brought great pride to the USA during the Olympics.  

Michael Phelps made a poor decision.  The lesson for him, and for young people in general, is that the decisions we make have consequences.  To decide to smoke dope or commit illegal acts can damage a career, cause great personal embarrassment or worse.  

The short term gratification is never worth the long term pain.

Hopefully, for Michael Phelps, this is a lesson learned.  He knows he made a mistake.  I suggest we all be big enough to let it go at that.

Peace,

Gordy Graham

www.ggco.com

Gordy Graham: What do I want?

What Do I want? 

by Gordon Graham 

When working to change behavior, whether for ourselves or others, it‘s important to keep the focus on what we want the end result to look like.  It’s easy to point out the inappropriate behavior, but this has a tendency to reinforce what we don’t want.  What would it look like without the problem?

When we make an error or mistake we need to learn from it.  Saying to ourselves, “that’s not like me,” and then, “the next time I intend to…,” shuts off all the judgment and puts the focus back on what you want.  The same technique works with young people as well as other adults.  Instead of, “that’s like you, you’re always late,” stop and respond with, “that’s not like you; I see you as a person who is very responsible.”  Then ask what you might do to assist in making a positive change.

It’s also important to catch people doing things right, and when you do, offer positive feedback, e.g., “I really appreciate that you’re such a reliable person; you are very important to our success.”

Don’t expect immediate change, but keep focusing on what you want.  Invite others to have input, and let them know that each of us can make a difference.

Peace,

Gordy Graham

www.ggco.com

Gordon Graham: Thoughts on Change

Thoughts on Change
by Gordon Graham

Everyday I receive a number of letters from men and women in state and federal prisons from across the United States and Canada. Generally the letter is response to one of our video based programs that are utilized in prisons as a resource to assist inmates in changing their approach to life. Often the letter is just a thank you for creating an approach to change that they can relate to, at other times it’s someone wanting a magic pill.

The one common theme is a desire to break the cycle that keeps them caught up in the system. I’ve been at this for 38 years and still struggle with how to respond in a way that is helpful, but that also deals with reality. There is one truism that cuts through all the rationalization and blame fixing. If you stop doing whatever it is that puts you in prison, the cops will stop arresting you. However, it took me a long time to internalize that message.

There are some practical ideas that can trigger a change. When you, deep down in your soul, make a commitment to do whatever it takes to improve your life, your thoughts and energy change. No one knows when this happens but you. The way that you think impacts how you act. So when you change the way you think your life changes.

Principals drive behavior. If you honestly look at the principals that you hold to be true it will give you a starting point for change. A principle of unconditional honesty has been my guiding principle for the past 38 years.

Accepting accountability for who you are and for where you are in life is a strong foundation for accepting accountability for your future. I recognize that life isn’t always fair. Things occur that are out of our control, but if we come back to our center of influence and ask the question, “What can I do about it?” It will put you back in the driver’s seat.

Affirmations have been a tool that I’ve used for many years. When I neglect using affirmations life doesn’t work as well. The other thing that I do is stay in touch with a Higher Power. This is personal to me and I respect other people’s right to believe as they choose.

I also stay focused on what I want in my life. Sometimes it’s necessary to see through the pain to the pleasure in our lives.

Peace – Gordy Graham

Affirmations
1.) I believe in myself and I believe I make a difference.
2.) I believe that good things happen to me and I take all setbacks as temporary.
3.) I treat all people with dignity and respect.

Gordon Graham on "Patience"

Patience
by Gordon Graham

Patience has never been one of my strengths! This article is written on February 2, 2009 and Obama hasn’t turned the country around yet! He’s been in office for almost two weeks and the economy still sucks! How long does it take to rebuild a broken system? When you’ve dug yourself into a deep hole the first step is to stop digging! I think Obama has managed to stop most of the digging and he appears to have a competent team assembled to begin the recovery process.

When you look at the massive challenges we face as a nation it will take all of the creativity and talents of all of our leaders. A foreclosure on your home feels just as painful to a democrat as it does to a republican. When you loose your job it’s discouraging to listen to leadership playing politics with your future.

We need our elected officials to focus on solving the problems we face as a nation! To oppose a possible solution because it is presented by a democrat or a republican is unfair to the men and women who are struggling to stay afloat. I also recognize that each of us ahs a part to play in bringing about positive change.

I watched the Super Bowl on Sunday. It was a demonstration of two teams focused on winning. There was no withholding your support because you didn’t like the play that was called! The offense, defense, special teams, coaches and support people all had one goal, to win the game!

How powerful would our leadership be if they came together around one goal? There’s a time for politics, but this is not that time. We need our leadership to come together around putting this country back on track. We need jobs, we need to stop the foreclosures and offer a bridge so people can stay in their homes, we need to hold banks accountable for their use of taxpayers dollars and we need leadership that will support solutions to these challenges rather than oppose good ideas because it didn’t come from their party. Lastly I guess we all need a bit of patience!

Tips
1.) When you lock-on to current reality, it’s difficult to stay motivated. We need to see through the current situation to the end result we desire.

2.) Time is the only thing that we all share equally. Twenty-four hours regardless of wealth or position. So invest it wisely based on your priorities in life, i.e. family, friends, health, career, etc.

3.) If we look back in our lives we will find times when we were faced with difficult challenges and we got through them and recognize that we will get through today’s challenges as well. There are times when patience is a virtue.